The Clock

On a typical school day, I find myself glancing up at the clock in each of my seven classes what seems like once every five minutes. I do it so often during each period it has just become habbit. I check-and check again-wishing time away, and wanting to move on to the next thing and then the next.

Today I made a conscious decision to not check the time. Now, this is not to say I don't like to responsibly keep track of time, plan my time wisely, or show up places in a timley manner- trust me, I do. I just felt like, during school especially, I was checking the clock for the wrong reasons. I want to listen and engage and learn and pay attention and just be. Living in the moment is so important, and sometimes I get so caught up in wanting things to be over that I forget to do just that.

So- I successfully made it through the school day actually being suprised when the bell rang for the next class each time, and it was kinda cool! I possibly slipped up in last period, but it's Friday so I say that's fair. I feel like today I was one step closer to living my life well. The kind of living that doesn't involve time or minutes or clocks, but the kind of living where you can just enjoy what comes, right in that second.

Tonight I spent time doing what I do on a lot of nights- playing with cute little kids! This time it was Jackie and Jessie, two little girls who particularly enjoy telling me there is some kind of scary wild animal behind me that is getting ready to eat me at any second, and then laugh hystarically when I fall for it even after the 19th time.

Babysitting has become somewhat of a constant in my life over the last few years, and I can honestly say I feel really lucky. I have a lot of theories on why I enjoy spending so much of my time with children; the fact that I still feel like I am one, or possibly that I relate better to some six year olds than people my own age. There's just something about the way little kids live thier lives that makes me aspire to never grow up. They express how they feel and love a lot and have so much fun and laugh and cry and color and dress up and play games and forgive and just love life... all great things. So chosing to spend lots of my weekend nights with 3 and 5-year-olds seems like a good way to go.

I hope that as a get older, I never lose the spirit that I found in these two little girls tonight. I hope I always love to laugh and run all around the house trying to escape the lions behind me. Most of all, I hope that my life doesn't revolve around the minute hand of the clock, but around the people and things I love the most.